It can hit you before you even know it’s happening: The simmering irritability you’ve been walking around with for hours reaches a boiling point of no return when, say, your significant other comes home without the recipe ingredient you definitely asked for. Or perhaps your child leaves that toy in the middle of the living room again even though you’ve repeatedly asked them to pick it up. Or, on a really bad day, maybe your loved one is simply existing in your space in a way that manages to infuriate you. Within minutes, you’ve said (or screamed!) something harsh…only to realize—on your own or after they called you out for it—that they didn’t deserve your outburst.

Whether this is a fairly new pattern or one you’ve lived with for most of your life, misdirected anger can have a poisonous effect on your most important relationships. The mix of shame and regret that often comes after the rage has cooled is a toxic brew for you to be consuming over and over again too.

Learn strategies in breaking your pattern of anger in the original article posted on Self.com